Lightning Can Strike + A Whisper of a Thrill

“…I want you to get swept away.  I want you to levitate.  I want you to sing with rapture and dance like a dervish.  

Be deliriously happy. Or at least leave yourself open to be.  

I know it’s a cornball thing but love is passion, obsession, someone you can’t live without.  If you don’t start with that, what are you going to end up with?  

I say fall head over heels.  Find someone you can love like crazy and who’ll love you the same way back.  

And how do you find him?  Forget your head and listen to your heart.  I’m not hearing any heart.  Run the risk, if you get hurt, you’ll come back. Because, the truth is there is no sense living your life without this.  

To make the journey and not fall deeply in love — well, you haven’t lived a life at all.

You have to try.  Because if you haven’t tried, you haven’t lived…”

-William Parrish, Meet Joe Black

Relationships...

My hands are the best relationship I've ever had. They feed me, clothe me, they open doors for me, and every night they stroke me to sleep!

unputdownable

I haven't address my situation in some time now. And while a few happenings have occurred that should/would inspire post(s), I have made a conscious decision to scale back.

In life we have choices, to accept conditions as they exist or accept the responsibility of changing them... I'm choosing change, because our choices in life are made based on our own sense of worth.

I found a light / in the dead of night / yeah I'm feeling fine - Unputdownable, De/Vision

Feel free to pause the Jukebox in order to watch the vidjeo...

I just move on...

While truckin' down 

The road of life

Although all hope seems gone...

I just move on

Catherine Zeta Jones - Chicago

The last couple of weeks haven't been easy. Easier than previous weeks perhaps, but certainly not easy. Over the last couple of weeks I've been working on reaching some sense closure. It's rather hard to close a chapter of your life, that to an extent is still open. Am I in denial? Reluctant? Okay I guess I should backtrack and give you background.

I have not seen him since I dropped him off. Texting has become our sole mode of communication. I have called several times, only to be greeted by Sprint's Voicemail System. Voicemail replies have always been in the form of text. Sometimes my texts are replied, sometimes they're not. An invitation to dinner has been partially answered - never fulfilled.

I fully understand everyone processes emotional hardships differently. Unfortunately, it's a bit hard for me to accept how emotionally/physically distant he has become. How reluctant he is to address the situation. I guess because I'm comparing him to me, and how I'm handling the situation. Maybe it's not comparing so much as projecting. Help me out here people. Which one is it? Comparing or projecting?

Anyways, this week has been about moving on. Taking small steps towards accepting the fact that things are as they are. I've done my part. I've reached out. As most of my friends have said, "You've done enough!" Something I've been shouting to myself lately. 

I have done enough. I have been through enough. In 30 days I've lost a little over 30lbs. Great for getting back in shape, bad for such rapid weight loss. Trust me through this whole ordeal I've done nothing but eat. Unfortunately, everyone process emotional hardships differently - this is part of my way. I've cried more than I've done in previous failed relationships. I've endured 6 anxiety attacks - 3 at work, 2 at home, a mild one in public. Then, there were the dark days, when I didn't want to leave the house. 

Fortunately, throughout all this, I've had a tiny little light of hope. That as the time passed, things would get a little easier. I love and respect myself far too much to let life's curve balls knock me down for good. You just have to get right back up, and just move on...